Thursday, March 25, 2010

Just Breathe...

Sage advice from my dear friend Michelle.

I'm finding that I need to stop and breathe a lot more these days. Today our dossier was officially submitted in Sofia's home country and now the big wait begins. In about 10-14 days, we will be given our SDA (State Department of Adoptions) appointment and we will need to be in Sofia's country on that date to officially begin the adoption process. Our state side facilitator said to be prepared to travel as soon as April 12th-20th!!! Oh my...BREATHE...

There is so much to do between now and then. Not to mention, the normal day to day events of our busy household. I'm immediately feeling the guilt of having to leave our children behind for 3 weeks and then another 2 weeks after that. Of course, Mateo, our middle child, is having a HUGE Spring Celebration at his preschool on April 23rd and it's probably very likely we will be out of the country. It just KILLS me. I will make sure he is FULLY supported by his Nana and Grandpa and our close friends so he knows he is loved on that special day if we have to miss it. And I will make sure the event is well documented with photos and video. I'm tearing up right now thinking about it. BUT...we must get this process going with Sofia and it is totally out of our hands now so if her country says "Be HERE on THIS day"...we will be there.

Don't even get me started on the fact that I will be leaving Joaquin, our baby behind as well as Diego, our oldest. Joaquin won't even know what hit him. He still nurses at night. We've never been apart for more than 24 hours. He's my velcro baby. Diego, he's a big boy but he's still very sensitive and loves his hugs and kisses from mama and his nightly stories with his papa. This is going to be so hard on ALL of us. GOD BLESS my mom and dad who have volunteered to watch all the boys while we are away. They are the closest thing to us so I know our boys will be in the best hands. And we will call on our good friends and neighbors to help out here and there so even my parents can get a break. Thank you in advance to "our village". We couldn't do this without you.

But then I think of this little baby girl who has NEVER known the love of a parent or grandparent and that is the saddest thing of all. I cannot WAIT to meet her, hold her and tell her she will never be alone again. She is about to find out that an entire community of people is waiting for her to come home. Oh she is so lucky and loved! My stateside facilitator reminded me that this Mother's Day will be a very special one because Sofia will be well on her way to coming home to us! Oh what a beautiful thought.

So, for now I will just continue to BREATHE and prepare and make my lists and start packing and start gathering all the paperwork and start making the plans for our kids and the cleaning and the organizing. It will all work out and it will all be worth it in the end.


  1. Thinking of you! If you think your boys would like any treats while you are gone (a new toy? a gift card to Big Spoon?) please let us know.

    MM has been carrying around Kidaround -- calling it the "Joaquin magazine"!

  2. I can't believe how incredibly fast you guys have been getting things done! That is awesome for Sofia! I am so very excited how soon Sofia will be home, and will be praying for you that the time away from your boys will go by quickly!

  3. Such wonderful news about the donations and the dossier!

    When we went to China, I wrapped small gifts (Stickers, Chalk, Flip Flops, sunglasses - Target Dollar Spot and Disney Store finds for $1 - $5) for them to open each day. Shelly gave me the idea. They loved it. We called every day and they told us what they opened. They were so excited to open something again the next day and knew that as the pile got smaller, we were almost home.

  4. Oh my gosh, I had SOOO much anxiety leading up to when we had to leave. I had these crazy fear of "what if something happened to both of us..." and I couldn't get it out of my head. Once I got the mindset of us sort of being on a mission, I totally felt at peace. But it was still so hard to leave the kids. We had two trips - one 10 days and one 7 days. I don't think Payton could have taken another one of us being gone. Talk about separation anxiety, oh my gosh. Once we were home from trip two, she would run away from my mom and my sister (they watched the kids while we were gone) for fear that we'd be leaving again. In the end, everyone will do fine, but yeah -- it is hard! I assume you have Skype ready to go? Lifesaver. :)

  5. I just thought of Alina in the same orphanage? How absolutely crazy and beautiful if you are both there at the same time!!!!! That would be the icing on the cake! ...just a thought, but have you thought about taking Joaquin with you?

  6. I can't wait to hear all about the firs time you meet Sofia and hold her and kiss her. I am so excited to real all about her first days home with her family! I am so excited for you all! It's true that no matter how hard it will be for you to leave you boys behind while you travel to get your daughter, it's so worth it because little Sofia has never known the love of parents and family...and wow, is she ever going to have all of that once you get her home. Oh, this is just so wonderful!! (((Praying for you!)))

  7. Oh yes, the waiting is so hard! And soon you will have an appointment date and let em tell you, it does not get any easier (the waiting) but it is so great to keep moving forward!
    I just realized that you got all your stuff done really fast! I feel like it was not too long ago that we had e-mailed as you had a few questions about adoption. And here you are, just waiting for an appointment date!

  8. I know your heart is aching at having to leave your boys. But you also know it's a relatively short time compared to a lifetime you'll finally have together with Sofia. I'm so glad to call you my friend -- watching you through this process has been a huge heart-warming experience for me, and one that has helped me in my own pregnancy when I started off so negative and ungrateful. Here you are making mountains move to have Sofia in your lives... Thank you for giving me a better perspective and a more joyous heart. Of course, give your mom & dad my phone # too if I can help in a pinch!

  9. Oh, the huge range of emotions you must be feeling now. I know it will be hard to leave your boys - but, like you said, they are in the best of hands. And the excitement and anticipation of meeting your daughter. Wow! I get teary just thinking about it. Know that I am among the many who are thinking of you as you prepare to meet your baby girl.