Wednesday, August 17, 2011

First Day of School Jitters...for the Mama!

Joaquin has his first official day of full inclusion preschool tomorrow morning at 8:30am and I'm a nervous wreck. We have been looking forward to this day since he turned 3 in February. This is what we have always wanted for him...to have the same preschool experience that any typical child would have. The same that his brothers had at this age.  Joaquin is social, easy going, very flexible, enjoys learning and loves people so why am I nervous?

Well, I wasn't nervous until I went to the "meet the teacher" day on Tuesday. I was greeted warmly by the teachers and everyone was very excited to see Joaquin. The teachers (all 3 of them) said they have been looking forward to Joaquin attending the preschool. I picked up the preschool newsletter and the calendar of activities planned and made sure that Joaquin would be on the roster and we happily went home. I eagerly sat down to read through all the paperwork, so thrilled for Joaquin, and then it hit me. I read that one of the first activities next week is to bring in a photograph of your family to share with the class. Oh my gosh. How is Joaquin going to share with the class? He can't talk. It hit me. I mean sure, he can identify each of us in the photograph with prompting and I'm sure he will smile and point at his family members but that's about it. Typical three year olds talk. Some talk A LOT. But I'm certain every child in that room will be able to talk about their family. Joaquin won't. I get teary eyed just thinking about it.

I know I'm doing the right thing. I know Joaquin will learn best from his typical peers and he will learn best to TALK from his typical talkative peers. But it's still hard and it hits you.

Deep breaths as we cross this bridge into new territory. Typical peers. Peers where the difference in abilities will be VERY evident. Painful at times. But it's the best for Joaquin because this is REAL life. Not the safety bubble that special ed provides. Special Ed has a place and a time but I see now how easy it would be to crawl back to the safety net of it. BRAVE. Must be brave. Joaquin deserves this opportunity and I'm certain he will handle it WAY better than I will. Deep breaths.


11 comments:

  1. Keep breathing, keep smiling. He's going to do great and we are all thinking of you and praying for you and for him! Come the end of the year you will look back at all the great progress he's made in preschool and wonder why you worried. I really worried about if Courtney would ever talk. Then I remember the day I thought she would never stop! Good luck to both of you!

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  2. Deep breaths and stand tall friend!

    He will do great! The teachers will help him tell the story with the picture... last year Reid brought in a picture of Luke in his baseball uniform. The only words he got out were Dah (which he calls Luke) and baa-bol. His teacher helped with the rest. After sharing the kids are prompted to ask questions about each child's picture or what they shared.... I remember one kid raised his hand and asked "Why is Reid's name Reid?" lol! Maybe next week when he shares you could be in there in the back of the room to take pictures and help him tell his story. Perhaps you could use this time to share with the kids that it is just going to take Joaquin a little longer to say his words but that he'll say them in time.

    ....and my prayer for you tonight is that tomorrow you have at least one parent say to you that they are so glad Joaquin will be in class with their son or daughter!! I don't think parents of "typically developing" children understand just how reassuring and beautiful those words are to us!!

    xoxo

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  3. Jen, I have told you so many times that you are my inspiration and tonight as I read this post I will tell you again!! God had my heart and soul so perfectly in his hands when he gave me Chloe. He blessed me again when he gave me the gift of your love and friendship. I can honestly tell you that you are the greatest Mother that I know and I am so lucky to have you to walk before me on this awesome path. Joaquin will have an amazing day just like the day last year when he jumped on the bus! I love you and will be praying for you and Joaquin in the morning! Give him an extra kiss from me.

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  4. You are making the right decision. It will be so good for him & he will love it! Praying that you as brave as he is today!

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  5. Jen, a few words

    From a teacher's viewpoint, Joaquin's words are not here yet, but they are on their way. And he'll have his words when they are ready to come out. He may not be ready to share about his family aloud, but the love of your family will shine through your pictures, his smiles, and his laughter. The words aren't here yet, but their on their way. (Verbage from Sarah's teacher and our conversation with her new friends)

    From a Mother's viewpoint: the deep breaths keep coming, even after you drop him off. But, he'll blossom, bloom, and share his love all around. Two days with Sarah's new class, and she came home yesterday with a spontaneous "Hi" to her brother and sister. A "Hi"... not a big word, but it came without prompting.

    He's going to have an amazing day, an amazing year, an amazing life.

    Hugs to you Mama:)

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  6. Having worked in a classroom with children with varying degrees of language ability (including a few non-verbal) I feel I can say that kids are generally patient and understanding. Curious maybe, but open-minded. I'm sure it will all work out for the best, and all the tellers will probably learn something from Joaquin too! So exciting for you and the little guy.

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  7. Oh man - that talking thing (or should I say lack of it). Scares me to death. Max is only two, so we have a little time, but I just freeze thinking how it's going to be for him to go to school. They can't stay our babies forever. And THEY'LL love it :)

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  8. Ainsley is integrated in a typical Pre-K, also. Last year was her 1st year, and she's back again this year. For these projects, we send her with a picture and a caption for the teachers to read. Ainsley is proud to stand up and say the few words that she can, and then the teachers fill in the gaps with the info on the card. The other kiddos don't seem to think much of it because Ainsley doesn't talk much, so they just accept that that's Ainsley's way. A bit heartbreaking for me, for sure...but her words will come in their own time. Joaquin will do great, I'm sure!!

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  9. SO exciting!! I cannot wait to read about all his adventures. GO JOAQUIN!! He's going to do great and his classmates will do great too. One idea, I don't know if this is feasible or maybe you've thought of this already. But it could be fun to have an older brother excused from class for an hour to come and do J's presentation with him. With a little practice they could come up with a good team! My little brother (CP) could not walk, talk, sit up or hold a pencil but he still flourished in public integrated classrooms! Often my sister or I would be brought from our class to help with little things and it was a great thrill for us all, and for the younger kids who were excited to see a big kid around. Just a thought. J is going to love school and school is going to love him!

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  10. I bet that even without words Joaquin will share more about his family than most. Don't just focus on what he has to learn from his peers, but think about what he will teach them. Joaquin understands how to love in a way that most don't. Sometimes a giant smile is more than enough :)

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  11. your comment "it's still hard and it hits you" is so true! i still get teary eyed fairly often when "it hits"... although it is so worth it! whitney is going to a typical preschool 2 days a week and the early childhood program the other 3 days (all just in the morning)... definitely have those moments but like you said this is the REAL world and it is so worth it!!! sending hugs for whenever "it hits you" :)

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